A space for fathers carrying the loss of their child.
The first Still Standing circle. Thursday 12 Nov, 7-9pm. Hosted on Zoom.
Reserve your placeUpcoming circles
Pick a date and claim your seat. We’ll send the Zoom link and a reminder before we gather.
When a man loses a child, he can feel like the world checks in on everyone but him. He is expected to hold it together, go back to work, and carry it alone.
Still Standing is a space for those men. A circle for fathers whose child has passed away, at any stage, at any point in their grief. Held by fathers who have walked this road themselves, alongside elders from within the BROS brotherhood.
About the circle
Come as you are. There is no pressure to speak. Many men sit and listen for a long time before they say a word, and that is welcome here.
However long it’s been, there’s no right time. You just have to find your way here.
Key details
Hosted on Zoom, 7-9pm NZT. Show up with your camera on, and just as you are.
The agreements
Held by our L.I.S.T.E.N.S framework (below). No fixing. No advice. Just a space to be heard by men who understand, because they carry it too.
Read the agreementsWhat to bring
A warm drink and somewhere quiet. A space you won’t be disturbed, good wifi, phone and distractions left at the door.
The cost
Pay what you can - koha. No man is turned away. All koha supports Still Standing so another father can be held.
Our agreements - we LISTEN
A few simple agreements keep the circle safe, honest, and real. We name them together at the start, every time.
Lock In
Be fully present — here and now. Take a deep breath and let go of the day, your to-do list, and any expectations. This is a space for you.
I-Statements
Speak from "I." Own your experience. None of this "you know when you get angry at your wife..." nonsense — just your experience.
Seal It In
Confidentiality. What’s shared here stays here. This is a private container, keep it that way.
Time
Respect the time. Start and finish strong. Honour your brothers by being on time.
Engage
Listen like you are hearing something for the very first time. Acknowledge a man after he shares — "kia ora." Use gestures to show you understand.
Not Therapy
We are not here to fix you, to save you, or to do emotional surgery. We’re here to listen & support.
Sacred
This is a sacred space. Speak and listen with care. Your words hold weight and power, choose carefully.
Two circles each month
Online on Zoom, aligned to the moon cycle.
Open Circle
A relaxed evening for any father carrying the loss of a child. Arrive as you are, share if you want to or just listen, and be held by brothers who are walking the same path. No agenda, no pressure to speak.
Held on Zoom, on the Thursday closest to Whiro / New Moon, 7-9pm
First circle: Thursday 12 November.
My Child, My Pēpi / My Story, My Kōrero
A story circle with a different focus. Each month one father, prepared beforehand and supported after, shares his child and his story while the circle witnesses and holds him. You can come just to be there and hold.
Held on Zoom, on the Thursday closest to Rākaunui / Full Moon, 7-9pm
First story circle: Thursday 26 November.
Held by fathers who carry it too
This circle is held by fathers who have experienced the loss of a child. That is the only qualification that matters here. Not training, not theory — lived experience, and the willingness to sit with another man in it. Alongside them sits an elder from within BROS.
Ben
My son Nalu passed away at 37 weeks and was born still. Still Standing exists because of what that took, and what I wish someone had handed me at the time. Six years in men’s depth work through MKP and BROS. Co-facilitator of BROS online circles. I hold this space because I have walked it, and because no father should have to walk it alone.
Matt
My son Ari passed away at 23 weeks, born still.
When I see rainbows, I know Ari is with me.
I came to men’s work over a decade ago. It held me when nothing else did. I carry facilitation training and years of sitting with men in hard places.
I walk beside Ben in this because it is what my journey has been building toward. I am here to stay with the man in it and not rush him through.
Express your interest
Our first circle is Thursday 12 November 2026, 7-9pm NZT. Leave your details below and you’ll hear back personally with the details before we gather.
Any questions — stillstanding@bros.nz
If you need support right now
- 1737 — Free call or text any time — trained counsellors
- Lifeline Aotearoa — 0800 543 354 or free text 4357
- Sands NZ — sands.org.nz — for bereaved parents and families
- Skylight — skylight.org.nz — 0800 299 100
- Sad Dads Club — saddadsclub.org — a 24/7 online community of loss dads worldwide. Email info@saddadsclub.org and ask for the Discord link.
Still Standing is peer support, held by men who have walked this road. It isn’t therapy or crisis care. If you’re in immediate danger, call 111.
Frequently asked questions
Still Standing’s circle model is built on the Open Hour and My Child, My Story format established by Sad Dads Club. We are grateful for their collaboration and partnership. saddadsclub.org